Diary Of My Farm Practice Year(FPY)-------(Episode 30)

Created: Wednesday, 09 July 2014 Written by Christian Ozor C.

If you missed Episode 1 to 29, Read them HERE

Diary Of My Farm Practice Year(FPY) “Episode 30” continues…

The next morning, the loud voice of my roomie cursing and swearing was what woke me up. “make plane crash kill that person. Make he no get any good thing out of this life.” that was what was coming out of his mouth. His loud voice was what woke me up. I began to wonder who he was dealing with that he was swearing for. I was on the bed when he was walking in and out of the room as if he was looking for something he lost. As he walked outside, I stood up and went outside. I saw mama, wande, brother wale and some few people outside. I saw 2 teenage boys searching inside a room, I didn’t know what they were looking for. The way mama was talking with brother wale I sensed there is trouble. My roomie started swearing again. “The person wey take my chicken, na death go kill am. Iku no ma kpa,” he shout. People around started shouting him down. ‘ma ma shey ekpe eee,” mama screamed. She was telling him to stop cursing and swearing. Then I came to realize that the broiler he bought the previous day has been stolen. And I think he’s suspecting me that is why he’s swearing. He thought I stole it. Did I steal it? No I didn’t.

Rewind back to the previous night------ After easing myself and I was going back to the room. I saw the broiler. I had the intention of strangling the neck of the animal and throwing it away. But as I stretched my hands to do the evil act, I changed my mind. I told myself it wasn’t worth it. I am not that wicked, even though my roomie is pushing me to the wall, trying to make me react but I just have to keep my cool. As I changed my mind, i left the broiler. I didn’t even touch it. I turned around and went back into the room to sleep. I didn’t take the animal, But who now took the broiler away?

I kept quiet and walked into the house leaving them outside. My roomie was still raining curses on the person who stole his broiler while I went in and laid on the bed. Part of me was happy about what happened. Another part of me was sad. Who must have taken it! or was it another ploy and prank from my roomie. As I was laid on the bed, I began to think within myself. Mama and others may think I was the one who took it, even when I know within myself I wasn’t. My actions, me staying inside pretending as if I didn’t know what they were talking about outside. It was sending a wrong signal to them that I did it because I ignored them all and stayed indoors. Secondly I guessed the people in the compound would be thinking all isn’t well with I and my roomie. In as much my roomie had done me bad, I decided to overlook it. I stood up and went outside. As I came outside for the second time, everyone were just looking at me as if I was the one. I don’t know what lazarus must have told them. I wanted to join in the search for the broiler but I changed my mind. It was too late. I will make them see me as a hypocrite and a thief. Since I came out the first time and didn’t do anything, why doing now’ I thought to myself. I walked inside, wore my shirt and left the house. i pity lazarus wey dey swear. The thing no fit catch me. I stayed at a friend’s place till evening before coming back. When I came back, I met juci cooking. I asked herif they later found the broiler. She said they didn’t. “Maybe my roomie is just faking all those scenes,” I thought to myself. Maybe he later woke up at night to go and sell his animal or even throw it away so he could implicate. But I thought of another thing. If he took away the animal and was still swearing upon himself, that won’t be possible. Or maybe the Oro spirit took it in the midnight.

I entered the room. Fortunately my roomie was not around. I looked around and couldn’t find his travelling bag. I guessed he had travelled.

On Monday morning, I was the only student in my house. With my roomie that travelled on Saturday morning, Longitude travelled the evening of that day. When I woke up, I went outside to the veranda to seat. I overheard the women that owned the shops opposite our house shouting and complaining that people, most especially students do come to the back of the shop to poo. That is one major disadvantage in Iwoye. Almost all houses have no toilets. When we were going to look for the house, I asked the guy that help us to find my house why they don’t build toilets even if it’s pit in their houses. He said they believe is a waste of money. since there are bushes around, one can easily enter the bush to poo. Most of the students do “Dig and cover.” This is where you dig a whole anywhere, poo then you cover with sand. Or “Short put.” This one is popular. You poo inside the nylon then throw the thing like shot put. Staying in Iwoye, one has no choice than to do any of the two.

As the women were shouting and warning people not to go there to poo again, ben one mama’s grandson was there. he was interpreting to me what they were saying when I asked. I myself was guilty of it. That place is where I do my own “dig and cover.” One has no choice. They didn’t provide us with toilets, so where did they expect us to release those thing to .  we are Agric students, atleast we release it there and the manure would help the beautiful flowers at that place to grow well. But those women mean business. They meant what they were saying. They said that the aroma that comes out of that back was not good for their health and it makes the that environment smelling with urine and faeces. Some people they find manure them no see, these ones see free manure they run from am. They said anyone they catch defecating or urinating there, they will deal with the person.  Me sef don dey device another method sharply. I don’t want to be caught. Though they had their points because the odour drives away customers from their shops.

I dressed up and went to the farm. When I got to the farm, the tractor had already begun work in the land we would be using for our maize and cassava cultivation. We didn’t do much at the farm since the tractor was working on the land. We just helped in arranging the shafts of trees. Later on I left the farm since there was no much work to do.

I got home, took my bath and went to eat at the canteen . After eating, I didn’t return home, from the canteen I went to bola’s house. I stayed there till the rain started. It fell for over 2 hours. At about 5:00pm, I left back to my place. when I got home, I discovered that the room was open. i thought a thief had broken into the house till I entered and saw that it was my roomie. He was back. But I met the shock of my life when I walked into the room. My Bed was all soaked in rain water. How manage? How did it all happen? because when I was leaving the house, I locked the windows. My bed space is directly  where the window is so if there is rain and the windows is not locked, it will definitely enter the house and will soak my bed. Each time we want to leave the house, we normally lock the windows due to the raining season.  But I was so shocked how the rain water soaked my bed when before leaving I locked the room. My roomie was lying on his bed when water was just dripping out of my bed. He did nothing. I looked towards the window and discovered it was open. from what I could see, my roomie was back before the rain started which means he opened the window intentionally for the rain to soak my matrass and foam. I was so bitter in me. I took my foam outside. My roomie was just there looking at me with a straight face. I couldn’t sleep in the house. he’s still bitter about the folake issue, he’s still taking his revenge. I went to a friend’s place to sleep. It 3 whole days for the foam to fully dry up. Since he had decided to do this, I will definitely pay him back in his own coin. I will teach him a lesson. I began thinking, waxing the plan on how to pay him back.

On Thursday evening folake and two of her friends came to pay me a visit. I was the only one at home. They asked me to cook for them. I had always been bragging for them that  I could cook more than them, they all doubted me. I want to prove to them that I can cook very well. We chatted, played a little. Since they had just finished their exams, we were just having fun. I had rice and some ingredients. I began cooking. Folake came outside and was teasing me that I couldn’t cook. She offered to help out which I agreed. we did the cooking together. We cooked the concoction rice and 4 eggs together. After cooking it, the other two girls came and tasted it. They even confirmed it was delicious. There was no drinking water and I have made up my mind to spice the meal up with lacasera. I told them I would be going to shoprite to get pure water. The 3 ladies offered to accompany me and I agreed. We left for shoprite. I bought half bag of pure water and 4 lacasera. 3 for the girls and 1 for me. We got home, I opened the door and we went in. I served the food into 3 plates and gave to the 3 ladies and gave them to eat. Immediately Cynthia threw in the first spoon into her mouth, she threw it out, “Kerosene,” she screamed. Before I knew what was happened, the other two spilled out the ones they placed into their mouths. Everyone was shouting “kerosene.” They began saying there was kerosene inside the food. “Kerosene keh.” How manage. We cooked the food together nah, we even tasted it before going to shoprite to get something. How come there was now kerosene inside the food. I picked from folake’s own with a spoon and tasted it. It didn’t only taste kerosene but salty. I tasted the ones of other 2 girls and it was same thing. I went and tasted the one in the pot and it tasted the same, kerosene and salty. I asked myself “how come.” folake and I cooked it together. We all even tasted it and they all confirmed it was delicious before we went to get water ad lacasera in shoprite. I was so bitter in me. The other 3 girls were all spitting out that I thought they would spite out their intestines.  As I was thinking, I realized something, that it may be my roomie who came in and add salt and kerosene into the food when we went to shoprite. if not him going about to revenge, who now did! It’s him. folake had already noticed the cold war between both of us. when I was seeing the girls off, she was trying to ask me about lazarus and the way both of are living like cats and dogs in the house.  she has this discerning spirit. She even told me she believed it was lazarus that added kerosene and salt into the food when we left. When she said it, I didn’t say anything, I just kept mute. The only thing on my mind is “Revenge,” and a perfect one at that. I saw folake and her friends off and returned home. When I got home, I threw away the food. I was so annoyed. Lazarus messed up my day. It was an embarrassment to me and my visitors.

After washing up everything, I went back to shoprite to get biscuits, I wasn’t impressed because I was terribly hungry, There was no place they sell food at that time. That was around 7:41pm. I ate the biscuits and lacasera I bought and I laid on my bed thinking of how to pay lazarus back. There was Oro this time and many people were rushing back to their houses. As I was thinking I slept off. I was woken up by a knock on the window. I wondered who must be that. I switched on the touch on my phone and discovered my roomie wasn’t inside. it may be him knocking on the window so I could open the entrance door to the house so he could enter. I checked the time and it was about 10:15pm that night. The Oro had just started. As the knocks were banging harder on the window, I wanted to stand to go open it, but I changed my mind. “This is my revenge,” I thought to myself. I Kept mute. He knocked till he was tired and I didn’t hear any other knock. He didn’t even say anything, he was just knocking, expecting his house boy to come open the door for him. I was angry in me because he disturbed my sleep. I was fast asleep when he started knocking, thereby waking me up. He should just go back to where he’s coming from. After some time, I discovered I couldn’t sleep again. my roomie has disturbed my sleep. i was happy but not too happy for the “revenge.” For all I know, he has so many friends he can go to sleep in their houses, so me not opening the door for him to come in, the revenge would not hit him hard. I want to hit him hard, so hard that he will cry because he has really dealt with me. I think I have an idea of what to do to him.

The next Night at about 8:45pm, I was on the bed sleeping when my roomie walked in. I watched as he took a black nylon and left the house, as usual he has gone out to defecate at the back of the shop opposite our house. I believed that was the place he was going to. The women there had warned that nobody should go there to defecate. As I noticed he was leaving the house for the place, something came up in my mind, and that was a perfect revenge for him. As I walked out of the house, the streets was almost scanty. Shops have closed down due to the Oro. As I saw him diverting to the corner of the building. I believe say na shit the guy wan go shit. I waited a little beat, atleast for him to settle. By that time, him go don balance come dey release the thing. After I don wait for like 2 minutes, I went straight to the house close to the shop. One of the shop owners stays there. Infact she was one of the people shouting and abusing people coming to defecate at that place the other day. I want to the house, I saw her teenage daughter packing in some items into the house. me no get time to speak Yoruba. As I saw the girl, she was holding a bottle of fuel on her left land. I greeted her. As I no fit speak the thing for Yoruba, I believed she could understand English because she attends the green school. I told her they always accuse students of defecating at the back of their shops, it seems somebody is presently defecating there. immediately I told her, she began to shout as she dropped what she was holding and ran into the house. me sef, as a sharp guy, I just dodge leave that place waka go stay for my varenda come dey wait the drama wey go play itself. I was sitting at the veranda, there was no light and it was dark, so they can’t be seeing me from where he were. I saw the woman walking out of her house with the teenage daughter. The way they walked out, you might think they are preparing for war. They walked out like solders. Looking at what they were holding, if not carefully looked, you may think it’s a machine gun, but it was a stick. “Chaiiiii, lazarus my roomie go hear am,” I said in my mind. I just sit don like Don for chair come watch as the woman and her pikin enter the back of the place. Before I know wetin dey happen, I began hearing shouts, noise from that end. ‘Eewo, eewo, mot i mue leni,” the woman shouted. She has caught my roomie. She began shouting, screaming for people to come out, that they have caught the person defecating at the back of their shop. I was just laughing in my mind. Lazarus did his own, now is my turn and I will wipe him hard. I saw women and even old men moving to that direction. I started hearing my roomie’s voice. I guessed he was arguing with them. As the arguments was becoming louder, I decided to go to the area where it is happening. I just want to see the look on lazarus’s face. As I got there, I saw the shock of my life. My roomie but naked with his shirt on. About 3 women held his shirt. They were just dragging him like a he-goat. My roomie began to beg, one of the women carried the poo in the nylon, she wanted to pour it on him. The other two men there began to beg. I watched as my roomie was humiliated, I just kept mute. His short was seized. He was receiving slaps from left and right of his chicks. More people started coming out from their houses and moving towards the direction. I watched as my roomie went on his kneels begging for them to forgive him, and that he will not defecate there again. He just wanted them to give him his short so he could wear it before many people start coming out to see him. That one na extra embarrassment. I left there and went back to the room and lay on my bed. I was waiting for him to come in so I could laugh at him. I waited till 9:30pm and my roomie didn’t show up. I began to wonder, may be they haven’t left him yet. I stood up and went out towards the shop but couldn’t find anyone there. I concluded that they must have left him but the shame didn’t allow him to come inside and face me.  I went back to the house to sleep.

For 2 days, my roomie didn’t sleep in the house, I only saw him at the farm. I never even bothered to ask him. He wanted revenge, I believe he’s now seeing it. I just imagine how those mamas and women at that shop would be looking at him if he’s passing by.


<<<<<<< To be continued from Episode 31 >>>>>> 


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