Three (3) features I Will Like Facebook to Introduce

Created: Monday, 27 March 2017 Written by Christian C. Ozor


If you are looking for a free comedy show, you want a place to laugh, smile after the day’s activities just go on social media. Likewise If you want to get yourself angry over nothing and something, one of the places to visit is the social media most especially Facebook. You get to see so many annoying posts and I wish Facebook can introduce some features to help tackle those posts.

Here are Three (3) features I will like Facebook too have

Dislike button: I guess many people are tired of posts breeding hatred, bullies, trolls. With this feature, I can dislike any post that don’t seem well. But this feature go affect so many girls ratings ooo. Some girls wey dey always post photos make guys dey like, just dislike the post and some of them go stop to dey post. Some snap and post the kind of food they are eating at the moment. Who wants to know the kind of food you are eating or the irrelevant place you are at the moment? Just dislike the post joor.

Lie Detector: I don’t know how Facebook will do this. Maybe they will ask God for help or meet Ifa priest, because the kind of lies people come on social media to tell these days ehhh can make the devil run. Lies, fake lives and fake news are the other of the day on social media. Some people will just sit at the comfort of their house and compose too many lies, release it on Facebook like a single looking for hit back to back. Imagine one up and coming artist who released a song, he came on Facebook to announce that he has gotten over 10million downloads within the last 24 hours. You have 10million downloads within 24 hours and yet Don jazzy no know you, bloggers no know you. You and your song is not trending in any social media, “I smell lies.”

One girl went visited Lekki, she used opportunity to take photos of herself around beautiful houses. Na so she upload one of the photos wey she take for the gate of one of the top beautiful houses for that area. Na so she tag come write, “chilling in front of my house.” Comments were pouring in. See as guys dey submit application make dem come visit her for her new house. Her bubble was busted when one of the daughters of the owner of the house who lives in U.S had to call her dad to enquire if he sold their house. Na so the Yankee base girl come expose the girl say na her papa house. And they don’t know the other girl posting photos chilling at the house. Na so people catch the other babe wey dey claim say na their house were as she go take picture for their.

The “You be mumu” Button: I need this “you be mumu” button because so many, you don’t just feel like unfriending them with the kind of annoying and devastating posts they put up on their timeline. Some Na sexually explicit stuff dem dey post. With the “You be mumu” button on Facebook, Imagine as Pres. Buhari’s spokesperson, Femi Adesina announced on Facebook that Buhari thanked him for holding it down for him against mischief makers. Trust Nigerians nah. So many will be clicking on “you be mumu” button. Femi will be receiving emails from Facebook notifications  of those that called him mumu. It will be like,

“Dear femi Adesina,

Abiola, Temi, Musa and 1,998 people call you mumu. Visit the link below to see others”

It will really be fun seeing this kind of thing on Facebook. People go dey fear to be call “you be mumu” on Facebook.


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