Adventure In The Mortuary: I took My Girlfriend To Mortuary On Her Birthday

Created: Friday, 24 January 2014 Written by Christian Ozor C.

It wasn’t my fault, it happened the way it did. I just have to do what I did to test her courage. i believed she has tested mine, I am not perfect but she definitely saw the best and the strength in me. I have tried as much as I can to satisfy her, make her happy. I also shared all I have with her and, what do I get in return?

         I called bola to see if he can lend me the N5000 I need. I want to travel to Benin city to see Agatha. Agatha is my girlfriend. We have been together for 6months. I am travelling to Benin to see her. It’s been about 2months since we saw last. My intention is just to know how she’s faring at her place of primary assignment as a corper. Her birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks’ time. She has started sounding it on my ears that she wants something adventurous and classy as a gift and I promise to get her that.

Bola told me that he doesn’t have N5000 to give to me, he has not been paid salary. I myself have not been paid too and I don’t have any back up savings. He told me to go meet his elder brother who works in a nearby hospital. I dropped the call and went straight to meet with bola’s brother ade. I have only met ade three times. Before we met, bola has always talked about him. He told me he works in the hospital but he didn’t tell me what he actually does for the hospital.

      I got to the hospital, I met the hospital receptionist.  I told her I was looking for ade, she told me to give her couple minutes so she could go and call him. I sat on one of the chairs at the waiting place. barely 2 minutes I waited, the receptionist came out with Ade. “o boy how far nah?” Ade asked, “brother, I dey jare, you just forget us” I said to him. He laughed as he hugged me.  He sat down, he told me that bola had already told him I was coming to get N5000 from him. He told me that the money Is not currently with him. immediately I heard this,  “ what is wrong with this people, are they just playing me” I thought to myself before, he said that he gave his pulse to a friend at the back of the hospital and , he’s busy. That means I have to wait for him to finish what he’s doing at the moment. ‘what do I do now’ I thought to myself. I just needed to get the money at that moment so I can go home to prepare for my journey. I asked if I could help out in the work so it could be faster. He laughed and said “paddy you no fit do dat kind work”, “why?” I asked him. “Just chill, I will soon be through” he said. I wasn’t satisfy with all these he was telling me. “Let me help you, I can do anything, let’s just do it so you will get the money, I don’t have much time” I said to him. “ well, you are a brave guy, follow me let’s do this fast so I can go get your money” he said to me. I followed him. “This una hospital fine oooo” I said to him as we climbed  up-stairs. Upstairs, he opened one of the rooms were we are, inside the room I saw 3 heavy looking like woods on the floor. Each was long and wrapped with white cloth. The room was having a kind of strange odour, everywhere was just quiet, clean and cold. He lifted one up, “take, help me drop it on the floor outside” he said to me. I looked at it for a second wondering what it is. “what is this ?” I asked him as he was giving it to me, “collect am first, keep it outside before you start asking” he replied me. I stretched my hands and carried it from him. Immediately I held it, it felt cold on my hands. I gazed at it on my hands, “ this is a dead body” I thought to myself. “Na dead body be this nah” I said to him as I turned to him, “ehen nah, nah dead body, wetin come happen? Carry this thing put for outside make we do this thing sharperly make I get you your money” he said to me. I turned to carry it out, there was a door at the left hand side with and inscription “Mortuary”. That means we are inside a mortuary, am sure the other two lying there are dead bodies too.  I wanted to drop the one am holding on the floor and leave there but, a thought came to mind, I have not collected the N5000 am demanding from him, so if I leave, there is nobody close to me that I can get that money from around. I have already promised Agatha that I will be coming to see her and, I don’t want to fail on that promise, if I do, that means she won’t pick my calls or talk to me for one or two weeks. Sometimes I even think am the mugu in the relationship. I moved the body outside the room close to the door and came back. “Why you dey squeeze your  face” he asked me. But why won’t I squeeze my face when he brought me to a mortuary. “I n know say na mortuary you dey work oo” I said to him. sincerely, I never knew he works as a mortuary attendant. Bola never told me. I thought ade works as an auxiliary nurse because bola told me he trained as one. “You no know?” he asked, “yeah I no know”  I replied. “I think say na nurse u be” I said again, he laughed. He told me he doesn’t work as a nurse, he’s just a mortuary attendant. But when you see ade dress up, well packaged outside, you won’t know he works as a mortuary attendant. You might mistake him for a banker or the Ceo of a big company. As we talked, an idea came to my mind, I promised Agatha that I will take her out to an adventurous location on her birthday, “why don’t I bring her to this mortuary” part of me said. of course it will be a great adventure, to come and see dead bodies in the mortuary. The idea looks foolish but I don’t care, it will be a perfect adventurous birthday gift. I told ade about it, he laughed, “shey na so your girlfriend wicked reach, na im make u wan give her that treatment?”  I told him there is none, I just want to scare and test her. After all I have been spending on her, I love her so much. Since we started dating, she has never spend a maximum of N500 on me, she only demands and that demand led me to the mortuary this morning. I still love her but I want to know her reaction when I bring her to this adventurous place and, her reactions will determine if I will continue on this relationship. Is not only going to ice cream joints or Olona Ranch or Yankari game reserve which I pay for. “Let’s try another place” I said to myself. We finished everything and ade went and got me the money, gave to me and I went home and took my bath, “hope I won’t see dead people in my dreams” I thought to myself. I don’t even know what gave me that courage to enter a mortuary, carrying wrapped dead bodies with ade. I did it because of a woman, to protect my integrity because I have promised to get her some money. Power of a woman, what a woman can do and what a man will do just to make her woman stay. I used to be scared of even looking at dead bodies, when my grandfather died, I could even go near his casket talk less touching it.

      I travelled to benin to see Agatha. I got to her house, she welcome me, she made egusi soup and pounded yam. After eating, I had planned not to waste much time because I have a meeting with my boss that day. “You didn’t bring anything for me”? she asked, I brought out N2000 and gave to her, she began complaining. “I thought I told you they have not paid us” I said to her “and so, and so” she replied. She doesn’t even want to listen to me, she threw the money at me. “don’t you know I spent a lot of money cooking this food you ate?” she asked. This is another major thing I hate about Agatha. She always thinks that I must provide all the money she will use on me. if she’s buying me sachet water, I must give her money for that, she cooked in her house and I ate once I must give he the money, she bought handkerchief N50 for me the other day, she later started disturbing me about the money, I later gave her that money. I begged her and pleaded with her that I will make it up to her on her birthday before she finally agreed to take the N2000. I was left with N1500 I will use to travel back to Akure. She was expecting to collect all from me.

    A week later they paid me my salary, I went to ade and gave him the N5000 I took from him. I told him again about my idea of bringing my girlfriend to the mortuary to see dead bodies as adventure, “so you are serious about it?” he asked. I told him I am serious if they will allow me bring her into the place. he said he can’t allow me, and even that day I came in with him, if the management caught me, they would have fired him, “but won’t it scare her” he asked, “that one na her business” I said to him. Me no send wetin she thinks. In fact is an opportunity to scare her off my life and relationship. I have been trying to walk out of the relationship but she keeps crying back, I love her but her attitude is turning me off. Ade told me it will be impossible for me to bring in my girl into the hospital mortuary to scare her. he said it will spring suspicion that we are coming to collect body parts or any bad things.  Considering is going to be a hectic experience bringing Agatha to the mortuary, I begged him again and again till he agreed. he said he will only give us 15 minutes, in my mind I was like “if Agatha I going to stay there up to 10 minutes”. The hospital doesn’t allow visitors unless people who have corpse into the mortuary.

  A day before Agatha’s birthday she arrived my house. We spent quality time together, in my heart “it was the last moments we will spend together” because after going to the mortuary, she will hate me.

“Happy birthday” I said to her. it’s her birthday. “Is that all, where is my gift” she said to me. Am not surprised say her blood they hot, she wants her gift, this is just 7:16am. I told her to take her bath that I was taking her out to a wonderful place. she just jumped out of the bed, only if she knows were am taking her to. I called ade to know if our arrangements are still intact, he said everything is good, and we can come around 10am.

9:45am I took Agatha to the hospital, immediately we got down from the taxi in front of the hospital, she asked me why we came to the hospital, I smiled and told her not to worry that is a surprise. We went into the hospital, I met ade at the receptionist desk, he gave me a sign to move in. I didn’t bother to introduce him to Agatha incase if anything happens, she won’t suspect he is one of the people that planned it with me. We moved closer to the mortuary, I told her to close her eyes and she gladly did. She loves gift so much. I used my right fingers to cover it well and I opened the door of the mortuary, everywhere was so cold and quiet with so many dead bodies both covered and uncovered lying on the floor. That is not the main mortuary,  it is the place the bodies are kept before they will be moved to the main mortuary. Ade won’t even take there, I won’t even go if he will. This place I brought Agatha was the same place ade brought me to, because I know he can never take me to the major place. “Where is this place, is so cold” Agatha said to me, I removed my hand from her eyes. I told her to open her eyes. She opened her eyes, she looked around, seeing dead bodies on the floor, “where is this” she asked me, she held my clothes dragging my collar, her face changed,  her light skinned face turned red, she was fuming in fear .“You brought me to a mortuary”,  she pushed me and ran out of the place shouting and screaming. As she left screaming, I walked out of the place,  before I could get to the down stairs, she had gone. The receptionist asked me what was happening to the lady I brought , I told her I don’t know. But she doesn’t need to ask me that because that is a hospital, death of relative or loved one can make one cry, so anything can happen.  Did I achieve my goal, will she really leave me? was my thought as I sat, I didn’t call her throughout that day till I got an sms alert on my phone, I checked it and it was Agatha. The text read…

“dear lover boy, It is over between us, do you want to kill me? don’t ever call me and I won’t do too.”


Well I hope she won’t, and I hope it’s over between us. It was really a great adventure to that mortuary

Add comment

Security code